Staying Stuck In Anxiety?
First, let’s examine your beliefs around anxiety, and the potential to manage anxiety. So many believe their anxiety is the ruler of their lives, and there is no other way. But is this true?
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Click Above For The Full Interview With International Women's Coach -Olga Muller
1.) Bring awareness to your thoughts.
If you’re not aware of all those limiting beliefs that you carry with yourself around, for example being a mom: You have an idea of “what’s a good mom” you know we have so many like limiting beliefs that just stresses that might put so much pressure on us. They’re just not true.
Limiting beliefs are structured around preconceived notions, they are shaped by our experiences, how we grew up and what we currently surround ourselves with.
What is a great way to bring “awareness” to your thoughts? Write them down. Empty them out onto a page. When your anxiety is peaking and you can’t figure out why – write them down. Does it have to do with WHAT you are doing, or WHAT OTHER PEOPLE WILL THINK about what you’re doing?
Does it have to do with a predetermined set of standards you hold yourself to, that MAY OR MAY NOT even matter?
Our words are the inner dialogue that we have with ourselves, especially how positively or negatively we are talking, it can impact you.
The worst things I’ve ever heard directed towards me, have come from my own thoughts and my own mouth. Have awareness – if you would never allow anyone else to speak to you this way, don’t speak this way to yourself either. Sometimes it isn’t as apparent until you write it down.
2.) Watch your habits.
You know who is a real bitch sometimes?
Who are you following? What are you allowing into your brain on a daily basis that may be impacting the thoughts you have, how you feel about yourself, your situation, your parenting, your child, your spouse, your life!
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – unfriend and unfollow are ALWAYS an option. Or just the “snooze” button too.
What you’re taking into your brain, influence your thoughts, your beliefs and could either feed or starve the limiting beliefs you hold. All of which impact your ability to challenge or succumb to your anxiety.
See related article…
3.) Who are you surrounding yourself with?
This is similar to #2 – but in person. Who are you around? Did you know that your habits are most reflective of the 5 people you spend the most time with?
People who elevate you, challenge you, make you laugh, make you see how to be a better person. Find them, treat them well.
All of your habits are going to be the sum of the people that you spend the most time with.
And that is it all leads back into your mindset and the thoughts that are you’re hearing it’s all coming from the discussions you’re having with people what you’re reading what you’re seeing, it’s all of that stuff.
4.) What limiting beliefs do you have about your anxiety in particular?
If it sounds like this:
I will never be able to control my anxiety
My anxiety rules my life
There is no cure for my anxiety (this is murky – but worth a look for re-framing)
Then you have some work to do, identifying those limiting beliefs is the first step to changing them.
Let’s try this instead:
I AM IN CONTROL of my anxiety
I am in control of my life
I will learn to manage my anxiety, and it is normal for it to come and go.
“Stress and anxiety is just another word for fear and fear is I think the best indicator that allows you to just really, you know, hold, hold still go with it and really ask herself, you know, why am I afraid of this what is actually scary because usually, you know, when we feel fear, that’s just an indicator of us, tapping into something that we’re not familiar with that, we’re about to grow, we’re stepping into like a growth zone, and obviously our mind will do anything to hold us back from that. “
The ultimate gut punch – never learning anything new, or growing as a person. THIS scary place, is where your limiting beliefs will keep you, stuck in the cycle of anxiety.
It’s time to grow and learn, step 1 – asking yourself “what do I believe now?”.
See related articles>>>
Hello all, We are going to be taking part in our resilient mama series and we are so excited just to have everybody here with us and to be talking about kind of all of those pieces of resilience and so here on this page. At the whole Calm, we like to talk about your anxiety and how nutrition can impact your anxiety. And the biggest thing is really making sure that we are thinking about,you know, how we can go through that and anybody that wants to participate in learning about that, that is going to be kind of what we’re talking. So we are going to be talking about that today. Oh , Hello Olga’s here we’re going to be.
We’ve been talking about basically all of our stories of these moms that are amazing and awesome and have great, great inspiration to be able to kind of get us into that better place and so when we’re talking about in our group was really talking about nutrition and anxiety and how all those things meld together. But anyway, all that is here everybody so hello all good, so good to see you.
I am so happy to be here.
What can you tell us a little bit about yourself, they know me, they know me. But tell us tell us a little bit about you.
Yeah, so for everybody who doesn’t know me yet. I’m, I’m a mindset and business coach, and I would say the healing practitioners speaker and also the host of the Thrive Podcast, and I basically shift, or just just started to help women to start their own side hustle with really ease with confidence in the heart and a clear direction which I think is so important when you’re thinking about starting a business at least for me. It has been showing in the past three years that I’ve been let’s say trying to build a business that, let’s say the right mindset, the right heart connection, and really clarity around what it is that you really want to do is so important and so this is what got me really motivated once I was able to you know get my first sign my first client and being a fortune 100 company, helping hundreds of other women to kind of develop that confidence for themselves and things like that. I just see how many women are out there who know are so passionate about something in their life, and who have way more potential that they’re currently using. And so it’s just you know my biggest. My biggest desire to help those women to really live that passion and create a freedom for themselves based on that. I love it.
I think that there’s so much to be said for that and I think that too. When you’re talking about mindset and getting your heart connected and getting that inner piece put together. That’s huge. I mean, and that can truly happen for, and can apply to so many areas in your life, it’s not just around your business, it can be around to promote relationships and there’s so much that can benefit when you take the time to sit and kind of listen to yourself, and try to get that clarity for you. Absolutely. Yeah. Now tell us in there, we do a little bit on personal stories of resilience to I don’t know if you have any personal story that you care to share about any time that you’ve gone through that you thought you really need to summon some of those inner qualities. Listen to yourself to go forward. I might be putting right on the spot but if you have any, any personal story about that too. We also share that in this little series we’ve been doing too.
Yeah, absolutely 100% I think everybody has them think. And first of all I really want to you know just second what you just said because I think many people especially when it comes to business and this was definitely one, let’s say, part of my personal journey that was really about that, like, say, finding that resilience within yourself and really connecting to who you really are. Most people think that it’s the strategies, it’s the right marketing tool or technique or whatever but really, if you don’t have the right mindset. If you’re not aware of all those limiting beliefs that you carry with yourself around, for example being a mom, like what’s the what’s a good mom you know we have so many like limiting beliefs that just stresses that might put so much pressure on us. They’re just not true and when it comes to business it’s the same thing. And for me literally like like I mentioned in the beginning. After I had like a personal let’s say life crisis like five years ago where I was just I was super frustrated with basically everything that happened I was so unhappy with my job. I wasn’t happy with my living situation. My relationship was going up and down. I wasn’t taking proper care of my health and so on. And I just felt like you know I was stuck in a life that I didn’t really enjoy I felt like there was no meaning to it. And I was just one day breaking down in my apartment and I was just like, no, what the heck is going on, like, Is this all there is like when I graduated I imagined to be, you know, contributing to people to the world to the environment in a certain way and all I was doing was, you know, seems so meaningless to me. And so that’s what got me started to kind of search for that heart connection, the purpose of mine, because I didn’t feel that at all in that moment. And so, I actually it took me. Let’s say, one and a half years. I got to know about coaching and I did a certification actually in Brazil, and just then after I did that certification. I became pregnant, and when you know when I did that certification I had already spent a little bit of time, kind of investigating or becoming clear about what are actually the options when, when you certify as a coach you know and it became clear that basically the biggest path or the most common path for people is to start their own business and work for themselves and sounds like okay, you know I know I’m like having a baby in like seven months or so, like, how am I going to do all this.
And like I mentioned it just took me a lot of time to actually. First, let’s say really find that confidence to really go after that path because, you know, I come from, let’s say a typical middle class family were the beliefs are you know you can only make a good living if you have like the safe and secure job and if you have the stable income. And I didn’t really have any examples of people who started their own business, or at least, no successful ones you know. And so for me it was always like a super scary thing to like, okay, just leave your job, you know, never go venture on yourself. So it took me a long time to just kind of break through that. And then once I had my son and I was like you know getting to that level of okay you know I’m really feeling comfortable with this. And I think this is really what I want to do. I just had let’s say the first year of motherhood, I mean, if anybody tells me otherwise I don’t know, I always feel like people are lying, but this was the toughest year of my life.
Because I was living off of let’s say four to five hours of sleep. It was just insane I feel like I was just like in a zombie mode for a year and and still like I’m also a very ambitious person and, at least in Germany you know you can take a quite considerable amount of maternity leave. So I was like okay, yeah. So actually, I mean, you, it’s not necessarily paid. But let’s say your job is safe. So if you have a certain financial backing for yourself, you can take up to actually three years. And I know it’s really like a blessing here. And so I took two years and I was like, okay, in two years I’m definitely gonna do it I’m gonna make this work, you know, and I just had no clue what I’m getting myself into. And, like, not only did I know that I have all those negative images and beliefs around what it means to have a business to be a business owner. I was so afraid of all the responsibilities that I thought would come with it was so scared of let’s say the whole legal, financial part that is involved in running a business. Because I’m also like I don’t want to do things wrong. Right. And as a mom, we also, like I mentioned we get like those images like you have to be a good mom and this is the box that you have to take and so this is what I mean like putting so much unnecessary pressure because it’s not even true.
But if we allow it to be true for us. And all those images
of like what you see is supposed to be right. What you’re comparing yourself to.
Yeah, that on top of that, of course, I also wanted to be like a great coach, so. And I’m very competitive. So usually when you’re very, that’s a high achiever and very competitive, you don’t, you know you compare yourself to the best people, which are just like 20 years ahead of you in this career or this business and it’s just insane comparing yourself to them. While you’re just making the first little baby steps like literally.
And so there’s been like so many things.
I know and I think everybody has their own personal story. I think everybody has those times in their life when they’ve had to, you know, make a shift in what they think. Make a shift. Recognize oh my gosh I am like comparing myself to so many people is making me feel terrible, or I keep having all these negative thoughts over and over and over again and then you’re either in a place where you realize you’re doing it and you kind of hang with it and you let it be, or you’re in a place where you realize you’re struggling with it and then you say, I don’t want to. I don’t want to keep struggling with this, what can I do, how can I put it into like Challenge Mode like how can I overcome that and then you. Those are the people that start learning, looking for the learning, looking for the new strategies, or the new things to do to be able to get through that and then come out on the other side, and be able to look back and say, Wow, I’m so glad I did that.
I’m so glad that I then, have those skills, whenever it comes back up again, like, to the things that stay with you too. So those are all the pieces that end up all of us have resilience, obviously all of us going through all of those things but those mindset pieces are so important. And they’re no Definitely, yeah they’re like the foundation of everything.
Yeah. And I, and I think like one of the best indicators for somebody to actually become aware about that because I feel like. Nowadays, we’re so disconnected from ourselves that we don’t even notice, like when you know when something is wrong when something is like, not really connected when we’re like, just drifting to someplace that we really don’t want to, because we put it off as like too much stress, or we put it off as like, I don’t know I just have a bad day or a bad week you know and then all of a sudden you have like a bad year or bad five years and things like that but it’s really, when, when you feel like for everybody’s listening, you know, when you just feel like stress is just another word for fear and fear is I think the best indicator that allows you to just really, you know, hold, hold still go with it and really ask herself, you know, why am I afraid of this what is actually scary because usually, you know, when we feel fear, that’s just an indicator of us, tapping into something that we’re not familiar with that, we’re about to grow, we’re stepping into like a growth zone, and obviously our mind will do anything to hold us back from that so I personally I was struggling a lot with the feeling of like I’m not good enough.
So this is why, even when I was in my first year taking care of a newborn I was spending literally every minute that I had on learning something new, because I had the feeling like even though I just did a certification, you know, even though I have already spent all that time and reading books and consuming courses and material. I always felt like I don’t have it yet. I’m not good enough yet to serve people to help them right or another thing that would come up then would be, you know, at some point like what if, what if I will disappoint my clients What if I will, you know what if I won’t deliver them what they’re actually paying me. And so all of those things are just, you know, we’re just the root causes of the fear that I was maybe having off, I don’t know, doing my first Facebook Live, you know with people, which is so ridiculous. Right, yeah. And, but you know maybe, maybe you have it, let’s let’s put it into mom context right when we do certain things and we feel the stress, there’s something more behind it usually is. We were afraid of what are others going to say about us, what are they going to think, you know, will they think I’m a bad mom, or will they think I’m not taking good enough care of my children or whatever it is. And all of that is just like the very surface level of what is really deep within which would for basically everybody would be to some point, I’m not good enough.
Right. It’s such a broad common belief, and I think a lot of people wouldn’t probably admit to it outright. If you said, Do you feel like you’re just not enough, they’d be like, of course I feel like I’m I am enough but then when you start getting into these challenging places it’s where it comes up.
And, it’s so true and people really have to do the digging. And the sleeping with themselves so like think, let your half your mind be quiet and really have that connection with yourself to start digging down, because you’re not going to get there otherwise when you just keep plowing through and you’re Go go go go go and or you like yeah put to the side and say, you know, I’m not or just say I’m not going to do it. I’m scared I’m not going to do it and you throw it away, which is always on, you know, never where you want them to be. But yeah, that’s such a common, common belief, and definitely I think that I don’t know if you do any type of meditation. But we, I definitely am a person who likes to meditate and I think that that’s where I set that time aside for myself, to really have that time, so that I can. That’s when those things come to me the most, that’s when those things. Yeah, you know you’re like, trying to think about it, or and it might be when I’m trying to think about it on purpose, or I’ll ask myself questions about it, or when I’m just trying to let my mind be quiet and then some of those ideas will kind of like pop in and like, Oh, that’s why it was bothering me or, but it would never happen if I didn’t stop, and give myself, that time, I think it’s so important.
Do you have any other kind of like quick tips for the person who might be looking for some kind of mindset shift in their life? Looking for positive kind of reinforcement in the way that they’re thinking anything that goes off to your mind.
Yeah. There’re many things that come to my mind but I think I think many right meditation I think this is like you mentioned so helpful and I always see that like so powerfully when, when I work with other people, was you literally just close your eyes and you create a heart connection. And that is actually not even so difficult, let’s say, and for people who want to try it out. Hard connection you can know you can really just start by closing your eyes, and really shifting your focus to your heart. When you’re shifting your focus also, you know, start the breathing into that zone into your heart, and then think about a positive like gratitude gratitude is an amazing emotion that you can channel into to create that heart connection. And just remember you know or have remind yourself of things that you’re actually grateful for today for things that have happened maybe this year past years. Really get, like, to remember a couple of moments that you’re really grateful for in your life.
And then you get yourself into a state of heart connection where then you can make those kind of questions that you mentioned where you can ask yourself, you know, what is you know if there’s a particular situation that you’re dealing with or challenged and you know maybe what is this, what do I, what should I be learning from this what is this trying to teach me. What do I have to remember about myself? So, every time I do those type of exercises you know it’s really incredible. What answers people get, and I am like a really hard believer that all the answers are within us all the answers are in our heart, and I don’t know, even if remote but most people are aware of it but really the heart is is developing first, when when we are you know, being created. Let’s say the mind comes just like, second, third, whatever place but the heart is there in the first place and so I really am convinced that this is like the place a for a soul and this is where we’re finding the true answers. Then, and I think it for many people, this might be challenging at the, at the beginning because we’re just so disconnected it’s just literally we’re all constantly seeking for things on social media on the computer on a TV outside, other people, and we don’t take the time anymore to reflect to go within so you know don’t get discouraged if you try it out and maybe it’s not working for the first time, really, you know, take it just with a positive intention and give yourself the time to to practice it a couple of times.
Yeah. Then the second the second thing I would really also encourage people to do is to watch their language. Okay, because what also many are not think so aware of is, how powerful actually. The words are the inner the dialogue that we have with ourselves, especially how. Let’s say positively or negatively, it can impact you. Because what we say, especially to ourselves, or we think about ourselves to ourselves, you know, to our mind this is 100% truth, our mind does not distinguish between positive or negative or jokes or sarcasm or, you know, good or bad for our mind everything that we say to ourselves is 100% truth. So, if you’re going to be let’s say at your next maybe business meeting or at your work and, you know, something happens that you didn’t see coming or just didn’t go the way that you want it and you just think to yourself, oh my god, I can never get it right, or I’m so stupid, or I don’t know – like those kind of phrases you know, if you’ve repeated enough times your mind actually believes that crap.
Sorry for my language not sure, you know, your mind really believes that and what happens then is, if it has. If it heard it enough times, it will make sure that this is what is going to happen. So it’s not just that you’re going to think that you know you can’t get anything right it will actually help you to not get it right to confirm that thought that you’re that message that you were sending to it in the first place. And usually, we’re like so harsh with ourselves. Like, literally, I challenge everybody, every time you go to the bathroom or you look yourself in the mirror How often do you look at yourself and think to yourself, I’m looking good today. You know I like what I’m seeing usually we’re like, oh my god that pimple over there are those wrinkles or like I noticed So, whenever bags.
Hey, you know, we’re so harsh and critical with ourselves, but you have to understand everything that you’re doing let’s say in a negative way also works in a positive way. So I want to challenge you next time you look yourself in the mirror. Just say to yourself, you know, and look great, you know, even if you don’t have even if you feel like crap look yourself in the mirror and really say like, I like, I look great, I love myself, I like myself, like, I can figure this out. Maybe there’s something you know instead of saying this is like, I don’t know, maybe I want to kill that person for something that they did and maybe when you’re stuck in traffic or something like that. It seems like this is aggravating to me just say like, yeah, it’s a little bit maybe annoying or something like that or maybe it’s, you know, just look for those nuances of force that you’re using, and just start to pay attention to that and try to shift them try to make those things that are actually maybe provoking negative emotions
Shift that into something into something positive, because there’s always something positive in a situation even if you’re stuck in traffic maybe that gives you time to call a friend to listen to in podcast whatever you know, just try to put that focus on the positive things. And I think actually that’s the third thing also like, pay attention to where your focus goes. And then if I may add the thing, which I think is is really important is, pay attention to the people you also surround yourself with because at least this has been a huge game changer for me.
You know, not only when I started to, for example, go to personal development, seminars in person and you just see like, people with a completely different kind of outlook on life with a totally different perspective on things, and if I compare it to like people.
I haven’t, or I have had in my surrounding who just, you know, we’re trying to kind of always push me back into that box of no go stay with your corporate job and this is all there is in life, and don’t even think about like going for your own business and things like that, or even motherhood you know you’re a bad mom. If you do XYZ that, you know, if you have, and just pay attention you know what quality of people do you have or you having people around you who criticize you who you feel really drained afterwards when you see them, or, you know, what do they do to your energy and emotional level, because when I, when I went to those seminars and I met a completely different set of people you know and I, I just see them constantly let’s say on my Facebook doing different things that I also want to do or that I, you know, sometimes I’m asked, or I’m questioning whether this is possible or not and there are people who are doing it, you know, it just gives you a totally different energy and a total different also level of confidence indirectly to yourself, because yeah yeah like I said they just spark a different part in you. And it’s not always this the same kind of negative Nancy story that you get from most other people, fighting, and they say that all of your habits are going to be the sum of the people that you say I have I have people that you spend the most time with.
And that is it all leads back into your mindset and the thoughts that are you’re hearing it’s all coming from the discussions you’re having with people what you’re reading what you’re seeing, it’s all of that stuff.
Oh my gosh, yeah what amazing advice. Love it. So good. Well, thank you so much I think that you have brought so much value today, to be able to kind of give us that, you know, booth and back discussion on our mindset and so thinking through oh my gosh that was perfect and so thank you I really appreciate it and it was so nice to meet you. Where are you right now by the way.
Oh yeah I’m living in Munich in Germany actually so I’m German.
Wow. That’s lovely. We’re on the East Coast United States so thank you so much for joining us. We would love to have you back in the future to talk about mindset and talk about. That’s so important when you’re thinking about making lifestyle change making adjustment to any of your like strategies going forward with dealing with a person getting to any of those mindset things are always applicable there too. So, they all do so so so much, and they wait to talk to you again on a different day. Yeah, me too.
Yeah, thank you so much for having me on. I really hope that you guys, you know, took something out of it, whoever watches this and maybe if I just may add one last thing is like. If you find yourself in a very challenging situation in your life and you really want to make a change, I really encourage you to go seek out help if it’s from a coach or some other person because those people help you to see things that you know you we are, we personally are not able to see that when I got a coach, it just helped me so much to like move forward in different ways that I could for myself.
Wherever but really get support tell us where to find you all that.
So you can find me on Instagram. I have a link there actually, it leads you to the podcast, it leads you to a free strategy session with me, lead you to all the things that you can find. Otherwise, you can always check out www.OlgaMuller.com
that, that’s perfect and then anybody looking for any immediate calming strategies or three tips to be calm within three minutes, you can go to www.energy2thrivetribe.com/calm
and there’s a free download there for you. so check it out everybody all right so thank you so much was so nice talking with you and we will talk with you at a different time.
Take care. Bye. Bye.